Becoming a Parent

by - October 22, 2017

So nobody tells you when or how to become a parent especially as a gay male.
Where, when or how do you start? surrogacy or adoption?

For me the answer couldn’t have been much clearer. The time was now, aged 26, in a stable long-term relationship, home owner and a good stable job. Adoption was the way forward.

I remember registering our interest
through my local authority in September 2016 thinking this will never happen and imagining waiting 10+ years for our time to come.
Shortly after, we received a telephone interview followed by a home visit to talk through the reasons why we want to adopt and why now. At this point it becomes a realisation as to the number of children in care and the number of children who will remain in care until adult life. A small home assessment is done to recommend any changes we should complete before proceeding.
A recommendation was made for us to proceed in the process and attend a 3 day training course (preparation course)

During the preparation course you learn about the different needs of children and why children are removed from birth parents or placed in care. The training is long and tiring but completely necessary and gives a full insight as to how adoptive children may differ from other children.

By this point you will now enter a stage 1 of 2 of the adoption process during which you will complete several checks including DBS, references, financial and savings, just to name a few.
One to one meetings are arranged to discuss your own upbringing and how you will parent a child yourself.

We now decided to tell our friends and family about our decision to adopt. Our Friends and family continuously asked why can’t we just be given a child, what will you be called and most frustratingly who will be the mummy.

Approval! We sat down in a room of 8 professionals and had to answer questions as to why we are good enough to be parents but as with most adopters at this stage we were approved, this was the same process as to when we got matched with our beautiful baby boy.

12 months after initially registering our interest we went to meet our son on 4th September 2016.

The process is long, repetitive and detailed. Oh and did I mention repetitive? But most importantly it is all worth it ❤️

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4 comments

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  2. Thanks for being so honest! It's a real pleasure to read about such an exceptional experience! Parenting is just damn hard! I repeatedly heard folks say this before I had my first child. I had no earthly idea what they meant. Now I understand what they were talking about :) You are a great father doing a great job. I'm sure you'll rise a happy handsome boy! Good luck!

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